Our choices are driven by many factors.

• Background (how we were raised): If you grew with a specific religion, you’re more likely on average to continue following it.
• Personality: If you don’t like meeting new people, you will gravitate towards doing solo activities.
• Physical Limitations: If you can’t run due to an injury, you won’t be doing any marathons.
• Social Circle: It’s easier to do what your friends do.

Three of the four above factors are outside your control. You don’t pick how you were raised. You don’t choose your personality, and you definitely don’t decide physical limitations. Those are all given to you.

What you do pick though, is your social circle. Specifically, how it influences the decisions you make.

From a young age I always had a big desire to fit in. (Don’t we all?)

To have friends. To get invited to parties. To be liked.

So the majority of decisions I made were influenced by that end goal. How could I ensure I had a large social circle?

As time progressed and I met more people, it became easier to achieve this goal. My default answer just became saying “yes” when people asked me to do anything.

It makes sense. The more often you yes, the more often people will invite you to do something.

Time was never a consideration. The amount of time it takes to travel. The collective months of life lost to being hungover. The time that I didn’t devote to pursuing other things.

Saying yes to what others want to do can be a great default earlier on in life.

After a certain point though, it should no longer be the default.

Instead, ask yourself this question: “What Would You Do If Other People Didn’t Matter?”

Maybe you’ll spend your scarce time just a bit differently.