James Barry

The memories that we retain are fascinating.

Especially quotes, since an entire life lesson can be summarized in just a few words.

Here are 7 quotes that have had a big impact on me.

Every day you spend above the ground is a good one.

– Unknown (but after a quick Google… apparently Scarface).

Whenever I’m having a bad day I think about this and realize I’m luckier than most. Just being alive is a gift.

One moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.

– Louis Zamperini

Whenever something is hard, but there’s a big reward on the other end, it’s worth doing. Read the book Unbroken, Louis Zamperini’s biography. You won’t regret it.

You should be working to improve yourself everyday.

– John Barry (My Father)

The fact that this was drilled into me as a child aside, it’s incredibly important to take the time to invest in yourself every day. Compounding returns over a lifetime will be huge.

Never make fun of somebody for something they can’t change.

– My College Teammate

Everybody has something they can’t change about themselves. Be sensitive, especially when it’s about something outside one’s control.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour. You don’t have to do it all today. Just lay a brick.”

– James Clear

Simple steps forward can add up to big results. Those simple steps just need to be taken every single day.

Your intention doesn’t matter. What matters is the outcome.

– Random (but widely known)

Nobody cares about what you wanted to happen. People care about what DID happen because of your actions.

Everybody has their own cross to bear. Sometimes you just don’t see it.

– Susan (My Therapist)

Every single person in this world is dealing with their own personal problems. Often, you just can’t see them. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t there though.

At one point or another, we have all been in a rut.

You feel unmotivated and doing the day-to-day becomes difficult.

Sometimes it’s caused by a specific event. Other times, there is no rhyme or reason behind it.

I’m currently writing this article in a rut myself. I’m behind my publishing schedule and can feel myself relapsing back into bad habits.

We’re not going to let that happen though, are we!

Here is how I am going about addressing it.

Identify the Cause

Without knowing why you entered into a rut, it’s impossible to avoid it from happening again.

For me, I enter mindset ruts for two reasons:

1. Pushing myself too hard and burning out.
2. Obsessing over my life trajectory (A.K.A., anxiety for no reason).

For you, the root cause may differ. The result is usually the same though.

Lack of energy and self-control.

Which leads to deprioritizing self-care, which turns into a negative feedback loop.

It’s a self perpetuating cycle.

Get Some Self-Care In

There’s two types of self-care. Fake Self-Care and Real Self-Care.

Fake Self-Care is doing what your minds wants you to do (“i.e. the easiest path”):

• Netflix
• Social Media
• Video Games
• Drinking
• Shopping

Fake self-care provides short-term mental relief, but only that. It doesn’t address the root cause of issues.

Then there is Real-Self Care. It’s what you know is good for you, but it’s not always the easiest thing to do:

• Working Out
• Meditating
• Going on a Walk
• Journaling
• Spending Time With Friends

The only way to get out of a rut is through Real-Self Care.

Hard Reset

For many, the best way to reset is through a good nights sleep and starting anew.

For others, it may be making a change in scenery. Where you work, when you work, or how you work.

It can also just be cleaning up your room and desk. Clean area, clean mind.

Most importantly, it’s moving yourself outside of your comfort zone.

The comfort zone is where it’s easiest for you to fall back into bad habits.

Getting yourself out of a rut is all about getting back into good habits.

Writing did not become a sudden passion or hobby of mine.

In fact, I never enjoyed writing when I was growing up, nor is it something I describe as a “passion”.

What writing is to me is a tool. I began writing because I saw it as a way to help myself improve.

An avenue to share my ideas with others, to have those ideas challenged, and to improve myself through feedback.

I love writing because it helps me build confidence, discover who I truly am, learn faster, and allows me to share ideas.

1. Confidence

Few things have had as large of an impact on my confidence and outlook as writing for one reason: Consistency.

The ability to be consistent, and gain compounding returns on your work, is the most powerful tool we have as humans.

I didn’t realize that I was truly capable of being consistent until I started writing.

As I saw the progress pile up, and my article list lengthen, I knew that I had the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to.

That discovery is an incredibly powerful feeling, because you realize that anything is possible.

2. Self Discovery

We all have many versions of ourselves.

The person who we are when we’re with our the family.

The person we are when we spend time in friends.

The person that we bring to work every day.

And finally, the person that we are when we’re alone.

The thoughts and ideas you share with one group may not be the same. But they should be.

To align your thoughts, you need to discover who you truly are which can be a tough process. One of the best ways to do it though is to constantly put yourself out there.

Publish your ideas for everyone to see. When you do that, you can only be one person – Your true self.

3. Learning

Writing is a critical skill to learn and master for anyone who values communication, which in my opinion should be everybody.

The best way to learn anything is by creating a short feedback cycle.

Think about learning a basic skill like juggling. When you make a mistake, you drop a ball and immediately know what you did wrong.

The same goes with writing, but to get that feedback loop you can’t write in a vacuum.

You need to write out in the open. Publish your thoughts. Listen to people praise you. Critique you. Or most likely, ignore you.

Receiving feedback is the absolutely best way to improve.

4. Sharing

One of the greatest things about being human is our ability to share ideas.

At our current point in the history of the world, there are more ideas out there than any of us could ever consume.

So instead of coming up with completely new ideas (because that is next to impossible), the focus instead is around curating what is already out there.

Drawing lines between dots that people haven’t seen before.

Using a new method to express and old concept.

Sharing your own progress and your journey, so you can encourage and educate others.

The best thing about sharing ideas, is that people will reach back out and share their own.

If anything I wrote here resonates, let me know!

One of my good friends was recently throwing himself a “pity party” (his own words).

Here’s the situation he was in:

1. Working long hours. Easily 80+.
2. Had only taken 5 days off in the past 2 years.
3. Tried to ask for more. His company told him he was out of line.

Unsurprisingly, he works in finance. 

As somebody who previously started their career in finance, I know that the above is what is expected.

You get a large paycheck, but in turn you sacrifice ALL of your free time. It’s a career path that I specifically left because I was not willing to make that sacrifice (among other reasons).

Just because finance was not a fit for me though, doesn’t mean it’s a bad path to take. Overall he enjoys what he does, just not the long hours. Having been there myself, I had one piece of advice for him:

“You’ll never regret working hard, except if you miss an important life event.”

Thinking through this caused me to revisit an article I read a while back: Top five regrets in life.:

In summary, the top five regrets that people have when they die:

1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not a life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Many of us are running towards, or away, from something in life.

It’s difficult to know whether you are on the right path in life.

We are not alone though, and there are many who came before us.

We can learn from their experiences, and hopefully avoid the same mistakes they did.

Life is long and it will change over time. Just keep it all in perspective.